Life's all about what you have and what you don't have

Judging people. How people judge people without them actually knowing that. Are you doing that? Am I doing that? We all do. It's just a natural response. You compare people with yourself unknowingly. Maybe that girl in your class has a slimmer body than you. Maybe that guy in class can talk or socialize better than you. Maybe that girl has the nice long straight black silky hair like those in commercials and you have a head of frizzy brown hair that are just of shoulder length.

Then to those unfortunate people, you feel more superior to them because of what you HAVE and they DON'T. But if you have the same thing, you'll compare and see who has the most of it. Or worse still, compare whose is of better quality or has BRAND. Hermes, Louis Vuitton, Gucci, Prada. You name it. They have it. IS this how we value our life?

How about me? Don't I judge people too, like indirectly? DUH. If people are smarter than me, I get envious. I want to be better than them. But I know my limits. I know what is possible for me to achieve and what is not. But when I can't even achieve the possible score limit, I will be upset. It's feels like I have fallen down the hill more than I climb it. It puts me back at the original position. I don't want to be static there. I want to move on. I want to go forward, faster. I don't want to reach somewhere and just stay there. I can go the distance. I will continue striving. Continue moving on. I don't want to look back at all the things I left there in my past because I want to make them beautiful. All those memories. All those lovely times I have with every single one of you that have brought light into my life. Even the bad things that had happened, I want you to stay there. Be a memory. I don't need a reason to turn back anymore. I just want a reason to move forward.

I want to live my life to the fullest. But what does that actually means? I've read about it everywhere. "Carpe Diem" they say. Seize the day. Seize the opportunity. Finish everything today. However, if you just go through life rushing these so-called-important-stuffs, you miss the really-important-stuffs. You'll miss out on the sweetness of your friends (couples) sitting at a corner reading  a book. You'll miss out on what people are laughing about, all those lame jokes that when you look back and think about it, it can still manage to put a smile on your face. All these things are important to me. People around me are important. For them, I'll put aside my calculus homework to join in and watch the tetris tournament. For them, I'll be who I am. I'm not scared to be who I am. To shed my layers of protection. Just for them. People I love, trust and cherish.